How to Cook a Turkey
(According to recently surveyed 4 yr. olds)
“First you go to a turkey farm and they are running around all over the place. The goodest ones are about 7-8 years old. Get a net from the fishing store – they cost probably $100. Put the turkey in a big box or a crate. Drive in a car with a blanket to cover it up because turkeys don’t wear seatbelts. When you kill it you have to pull out all the feathers with your bare hands. Roast it on a grill that is about ten hundred degrees for 8 -20 hours. Then cool it in the oven at 100 degrees for about 4 days. You need to put salt on it, some turkey food coloring, pancake flour, strawberries, pepper, and then a stick of butter. Poke the temperature tool in it. If you don’t like turkey, you might want to order pizza or Chick-Fil-A. Fix other food too, like vegetables, fruit, mac and cheese, salami, yogurt, raisins, and hummus with pretzels. Serve also with cooked Jell-O and broccoli. Don’t forget to pour milk and water for everyone except Hazel – she drinks soy milk because of her allergies, you know. Put it all on a special shiny table and wear nice clothes. The End.” It might go without saying, but…I’m glad someone else, with a little more experience, is cooking my Thanksgiving Dinner! My favorite part lists the variety of ingredients including salt, turkey coloring, pancake flour, strawberries, pepper and then a stick of butter. It just goes to show that butter makes everything alright because it is the ultimate super food! This Thanksgiving I’m thinking of all that I’m grateful for in 2023. My list is full of random remembrances and crazy recollections. Like the kids’ list above I get things a little turned around and mixed up. Some things I could thank God for are left off the list altogether. However I know that I’m thankful to God this year for being your Rector soon! And whether it’s how often we gather together over meals or for Holy Communion, “it is always right to give our thanks and praise.” Philippians 1:3 says, “I thank my God for you every time I think of you; and every time I pray for you all, I pray with joy…” When we say thanks to God we are leaving ourselves open for spiritual growth. We come to know in a personal way that simply being able to give thanks to God is one of God’s finest gifts to us.
As far as I’m concerned you can hold the turkey food coloring and the cooked Jell-O. Now, I’ll take that stick of butter on the turkey all day long! Just don’t forget the soy butter for Hazel, because of her allergies, you know.
Happy Thanksgiving to each and every one of you,
Fr. Jon
