“You Always Hurt the One You Love”
My Sisters and Brothers,
One of the downsides of getting older is that while recent memories may be lost somewhere between one’s ears, the old ones seem to stay, especially when attached to music. I suspect there are few who read this who can relate to the meaning of the song title above. Growing up, my father was, shall I say, not a fan of the modern music of the sixties and seventies. The songs were mostly loud and fast, and I cannot even consider how often he would say the lyrics were sung over and over again. Serving in the Army in World War II, much of what he listened to was “Big Band” music like Glenn Miller and Tommy Dorsey, singers like Bing Crosby, Eddie Arnold, and the Andrews sisters. Now I know that by this time I have lost many of you, but there is a reason I bring these up. One other popular song of the day was “You Always Hurt the One You Love” by the Mill’s Brothers. It even hit # 1 in 1944. This past Sunday, from John’s gospel, as Jesus is getting ready to physically leave his followers, we heard him say “If you love me, you will keep my commandments.” How often do we fail to keep his commandments? It’s not about whether we love Jesus or not but because we are human. We fall short of being perfect. Early in my ministry, a parishioner of the congregation I was serving told me about how she had been terribly hurt by her husband. He was hospitalized for cancer and had just received a bone marrow transplant. She was in the hospital with him almost non-stop. He was having a horrible day and lashed out at her in his pain and frustration. The nurse found her sitting curled up on the floor in tears in the hallway outside his room. The nurse asked what had happened and then responded when told what had transpired, “Everyone needs a dog to kick at times.” She went on to explain that if a little boy gets yelled at for doing something, he is very likely to go outside, kick the dog, and plop down on the steps. Sitting there sobbing, before you know it, his dog will snuggle up and bring him comfort. We sometimes act out on those who love us because unconsciously we know, even when we mistreat them, they will still love us.
While I never try to intentionally not follow the commandments of Jesus, even the great ones to love God and love neighbor, there are times I do not. The saving grace and that is what it is, grace, is that even though I “kick against the goads,” Jesus loves me just as he loved Paul.
Peace,
Bryant+
